Kisame goes On A Date With A Crazy Lady!
by cyberspyderweb
Summary: Well the title says it all! But find out what happens and all the crazy things that do happen! Does kisame know what he's getting into? Of course not! But is she all that crazy? Find out! Little swearing involved if there's more I'll change it to M.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Kisame because if I did than believe me I wouldn't have time to write stories! ;) Cute huh? I don't own Naruto but Kishimoto does lucky man! I so wish I was him but a girl!

**Kisame Goes On A Date With A Crazy Lady!!!**

Kisame opened the mailbox and took out it's contents. He stood there annoyed.

Kisame: Why the hell do we get so much junk mail?

He looked through the pile as he headed back to the hide out. At least 90 percent of the mail today was junk mail and the other 5 percent bills. He looked down at a pink frilly envelope. It had his name in a heart and smelled like perfume. He walked inside and put the rest of the mail down. He opened the envelope and found another girly frilly card inside. He read it in his head.

_Dear Kisame Hoshigaki,_

_First of all this might sound crazy but I liked you from the first time I saw you swimming at the community beach, I couldn't help but stare you have one of the most amazing body I have ever seen! You are so built and so yummy to look at! You are so hot! I would give anything just to go out on a date with you! I am so in love with you and the way your big sword swings around had me drooling! Yah not the one on your back right? Well I would really like you to call me and we could go out some time if you want. I just want to be with you and see where it goes from there. So what do you say and let's give it a chance? Oh here's a pic of me so you know what I look like:)_

_Spyder cell 555-7417 _

_P.S. Don't worry I already know your phone #_

He just stared at the note and reread it out loud just to be sure of what it said. Itachi walked in half way threw and stopped and looked at Kisame.

" Are you going on a date with her?" Itachi stared at him with a bit of confusion.

"Aahhh, I don't know yet. Maybe."

"You should, for as long as I know you, you haven't been out on a date since you joined the Akatsuki." Itachi crossed his arms.

"What? Kisame has a date, un?" Deidara walked over drinking a Corona beer. " Are you going tonight, un?

"Huh? I haven't even asked her yet! And by the way she asked me out, I didn't ask her!" Kisame said.

He was a bit mad that everyone was going to know his business. Deidara had such a big mouths! By lunch everyone is going to know. Well he mind as well ask her out because if he didn't the guys would bug him about it and never stop!

"I'll call her a in a while. Well she said she sent a picture."

He looked in the envelope and saw the picture he pulled it out and looked at it. His mouth dropped open and no words came out. Deidara snorted.

"Is she that ugly, un?" He went over and grabbed the picture. Then his face went to the same expression.

"What is wrong with you two? Itachi said annoyed.

Itachi walked over and took the picture from Deidara and looked at it. Even though he lacked emotion he did however blush! It was a picture of Spyder in a two piece bathing suit in a very seductive pose. Let just say it looked like she was picking up a penny. Kisame grabbed the picture back from the blushing Uchiha who held it almost drooling for at least two minutes. He put the picture back in the envelope and walk to the kitchen. The other two followed him like tazared sheep. Kisame put the envelope on the table and got himself a coke from the fridge. He turned to see the two still standing there just looking at him. He sat down at the table.

"Is there some thing you guys wanted?"

"Are you going to call her, un?" Deidara smiled his half cocked smile.

"Yah, I will in a bit. What's it to ya?" Kisame sounding a bit annoyed.

" Why don't you just do it now, un?"

"What's the difference between now and in a bit? I'll call her when I want to call her! So screw off!"

"Well if it's not a big deal just do it now." Itachi handed him the cordless phone.

Kisame just stared at the phone before grabbing it and looking at his partner annoyed. He stood up and was leaving the room.

"Fine, I'm going to call her and don't follow me either!" He walked to his room and slammed the door. Great now he was going to have to call her! He just looked at the phone and then pulled out the letter again. He just stared at the number and shook his head. Mind as well just do it and get it over and done with. He punch in the number and then the ringing started. He was a bit nervous and was glad that the guys couldn't see him.

"Hello? OMG Kisame is that you? Oh I just knew you would call! So do you want to go out on a date tonight I have tonight off and that would be so perfect! EEeekk I can't believe you called me and so fast! I just dropped the letter off this morning and sat on the neighbors lawn to make sure you got it!(not a very good hideout huh?) Oh did you get the picture I sent you? Well I would of sent you one nude but I didn't want to look like a whore or to easy you know! but I am easy! So it that a yes? Please don't say no I really do like you!"

Kisame was a bit stunned by her he really didn't know what to say to her.

"Y-y-yes?"

"OMG this is so awesome you so rock so what about 6 sound ok to you?"

"Yay sure whatever."

"Good I'll pick you up at 6"

She hung up her phone. Kisame just sat on the bed really not knowing what to feel. was this good or bad. But then he smiled he had a date and all the guys were going to know! Plus she was smokin' hot and was easy! So he was also going to get laid tonight. Now to a guy that was something to brag about! And would also get him some hi-5's! Right now he was the man! Right on but now what should he wear. He actually want to make a good impression on himself. True he never really got may dates and the ones he did get where with fugly but hey if you need to get laid who cares right? All you need is a good imagination! Now he could brag about her she was hot. He went out of the room and back to the living room where there were twice as many guys in the room. Hidan and Tobi had joined the other two and were watching T.V.

"Heard you got a fucking date sushi! Congratulations now I can finally say you do have balls and your not a fucking fruitcake!"Hidan looked up at him with a grin on his face.

"So are you going, un?" Deidara grinned. Which Kisame hated he wished he could just punch out his all too perfect teeth!

"Yah I'm going out tonight and we're leaving at 6. So why is it such a big deal when was the last time any of you had dates?" Kisame went to the kitchen to get some coffee.

"Can Tobi come with you?!" Tobi chased after Kisame.

"No Tobi no you can't come with us! Do you even know what a date is?!" Kisame turned and crossed his arms and looked down at the man boy.

"Yes you go out with a girl and have a good time! Tobi likes to have a good time! But Tobi doesn't have a girl to have a good time with so he wants to come with you and your girl!"

"Tobi no you can't come with me! Look,..when you go on a date with a girl it's only one guy and one girl not two guys and one girl. So no you can't come with me!"

Tobi looked down at the ground sad. He wanted to go an a date too! Kisame just smacked his face with his hand and rubbed it down his face. Pein would be so pissed off if Tobi was sad. He was always angry if something was wrong with Tobi. So they all had to keep the little guy entertained and happy. Which was really easy to do thank Hidan's Jashin. Everyone did wonder why Pein insisted that they watch out for him or why he even kept him around. But nobody was stupid enough to ask Pein either. Besides after a while the little guy grew on you. Like a kid brother, he annoyed the hell out of you but you seemed to like having him around but would never admit it to anyone!

"Tobi look,.. how about you can come on the second date? If there is even a second date with her."

He looked up at Kisame and if he wasn't wearing a mask you could see his cute little smile on his Obito face.

"Yah! Tobi gets to go too! We are going to have a good time right Kisame!"

Tobi ran up to him and gave him a big hug, Kisame pushed Tobi off of him. He was glad to see Tobi happy again. So he went to get some coffee and turned to see Kakuzu sitting at the table doing what kinda looked like taxes. But he was probably just counting the interest on his bank accounts again. Kakuzu didn't look up.

"So you have a date tonight?"

"Yah everyone seems to know my business around here. So what do you have to add then huh?" Kisame stood there with his mug in his hand.

"Nothing but what are you planning on doing with her?" He just kept on counting.

"Is that any of your business? Man to man what do you think my plan is?"

"That's not what I ment I'm not a pervert! I ment what are you planning to do with her?" He looked up at him.

"Oh, Never thought about that. I'll figure something out before I go. Thanks Kakuzu Never thought about that."

Kisame walked into the living room and thought. What am I going to with her before I try to get into her pants or skirt or whatever she wears? Well they were going out to supper so he needed to find a good restaurant that didn't mind having a 6'7 foot blue guy in it with really sharp teeth. He decided he needed to look in the phone book. He found the phone book in the closet and went back to his room to check things out. Ah, he found a restaurant and it looked good enough plus it was close to the beach and you didn't have to dress up! Good he thought well she did say she saw me at the beach so it would be perfect. Good now that was taken care of he went to his closet and picked out some clothes. He picked out black cargo pants and a white fitted T-shirt and a button up t-shirt skater style! (drooling on the key board, oops!) that was now taken care of so now all he need was protection. So he went to his secret stash of condoms that were hidden in his closet in a suitcase. Yes a suit case! Hey everyone should own condoms when you protect yourself your protecting others. As well as your life and health. (end condom commercial) well he put a couple in the pocket of his cargo's.

There he was done for now and he still had 7 more hours to go until it was time. Yes he was nervous but he had to find something to do until it was time to go. So he decided to go grocery shopping. It wasn't his turn but hey it would keep him distracted. Time passed la la la la la la la la la la Kay! He was done the list it was Itachi's turn anyways and he didn't shop so it was his turn. He hated to shop but someone had to do it. And on top of that when they did shop they had to take Tobi with them. And he just got into everything like a 4 year old did. But in the end he behaved if you bought him chocolate or candy or a couple of those cheap toys they sell in those vending machines on the way out. this time he wasn't too bad but he did get chased by a lady because he thought it was Orochimaru but it turned out to be some chick named Paris with her pet Tinkerbell.

It was 2 hours away now so he decided to go shower and get ready for his big date. By the time he was done she was going to be there in 20 minutes.

**Spyder Arrives And Meets The Boys!**

She shows up 15 minutes early and gets to meet the guys. but no one went to go tell Kisame she arrived yet. so she is stuck with them until he comes down luckily it was for only 5 minutes. what a first impression but will her's be that crazy? Find out next time!

I need reviews and lots of them I am a greedy person you know! You have no idea how greedy I am! So for the love of Kisame REVIEW!


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own the Akatsuki! If I did then I'd be the luckiest girl on this whole entire planet! And I would take over the world! Muhahahaha.

**Spyder Arrives and Meets The Boys!**

Well Spyder was excited about the date, she arrived a bit early. She really wanted to make a good impression on him too. So she wore her favorite first date dress. Which was a snug fitting top with a loose flowing bottom that was pretty short. But hell it showed off her assets and that's what she wanted. She walked up the side walk slowly in her 2 inch heeled sandals and out of the corner of her eye she thought that she just saw a tree planty thing move towards her. She just shook her head and took it for being nervous. As she stepped on to the first stair it moved again. She saw it this time for sure. She quickly went up the stairs and rang the door bell.

"Hey someone get the fucking door!" Hidan yelled.

Nobody moved an inch from their place. Hidan, Deidara, Itachi and Kakuzu were in the middle of watching a rerun of MacGyver. And he was just about to save himself from a bomb filled, flame burning and chicken filled warehouse by using the elastic from his underwear, silly putty, toothpaste and a tampon. ( If you know how he did this please tell me)

This time there was aloud knock at the door.

"For the love of Jashin! Someone get the fucking door!" Hidan yelled again.

"Hey your the closest, un?" Deidara's eyes never left the TV.

"Fucking hell! You owe me one you blond bimbo!" Hidan went to the door and opened it.

"What the fuck do you want?!? I was in the mid...d...dle..." Hidan smiled at Spyder. "Whoa niiiiiice! I never knew hookers came door to door! Wow this is a great town! Anybody order an escort?! Well too fucking bad! I'm now taking over! Jashin's is male you know he should understand!"

Hidan grabbed Spyder by the wrist and pulled her into the house. She was to stunned to talk as the white haired guy dragged her in. She pulled away from him.

"No wait! I'm here to pick up Kisame! We have a date tonight. Is he here?" Spyder asked.

Deidara perked up and looked at her and smiled "Whoa! Your even better looking in person, un? But you still look good in the picture!"

Spyder looked stunned "OMFG! You saw that?!?! That was just for Kisame not everyone! So all of you saw the picture?"

Deidara smirked "No just me and Itachi. Kisame has the picture but I have a photographic memory, un?!"

Spyder sighed "Good for you. So whose Itachi then?"

"The weasel sitting in the lounger over there with the red eyes."Hidan pointed him out.

"Well I'm embarrassed. Oh well life goes on right?" Spyder smiled.

"And a picture?! There's a fucking picture of her?! How come no one showed me the picture?! Am I not part of the fucking organization?! Seriously! Some times it's as if I don't know any of you at all!" Hidan griped.

"Well it wasn't for you anyways. And not everyone saw it so you don't have to feel all left out now. Can someone get Kisame for me?" Spyder asked annoyed.

"Yah, Yah. But I have one fucking more question for you, well two questions seriously!" Hidan looked dead serious.

"What?"

"Do you have copies of the picture? What will it cost me to get one?" Hidan had a sly smile.

"Yes in fact I do have copies. And next time I come over I'll bring each of you one okay?" Spyder smiled.

"YOU WILL?!?!" Hidan, Deidara and Itachi all asked at once.

Spyder rolled her eyes "No! I was being sarcastic."

The guys just glared at her.

"Fucking tease! Don't say you'll do things if you have no intention of doing them! Being deceitful is against my religion!" Hidan grumbled

"Oh really? I'm sorry for offending you and your religion! What can I do to make amends?" Spyder asked nervously.

"Your going to have to give me a naked picture of yourself chained to a bed. I need to sacrifice it. It's to please my religion leader, Jashin" Hidan nodded.

"Oh...okay. Sure." Spyder looked skeptical.

Hidan looked a bit shocked for a sec but then hid it."You can bring it by sometime tomorrow then."

"Sure. I'll drop it off right after I shave my head and get a tattoo of your lips on my ass!" Spyder smiled.

Hidan's face fell into a scowl, he turned and went back to his place beside Kakuzu on the love seat, mumbling "Deceitful whore!"

Spyder looked at Deidara. "So is Kisame here?"

"Yes. He's getting ready." Kakuzu looked at her then back to the TV.

"Okay, can you tell him I'm here then?" She looked at the huge stitched guy that sat the closest to her.

"He doesn't like anyone to bother him. It makes him unbearable."Kakuzu looked back up at her. "So what do you have planed for Kisame?"

"Huh?" Spyder looked at him confused for a moment "Oh, well I didn't really have anything planned. I just thought that we'd just do whatever. I don't really know what he likes. So you guys should know what he likes! Can you help me out?"

"Well he likes to get his rocks off! If you know what I mean,un?" Deidara smirked and grinned that same grin he used every time he looked at her.

"I do know what you mean. Yah besides that. And why do you keep smiling at me with that strange grin?"

"Photographic memory, un?!"

"Great." Spyder rolled her eyes.

Someone came running down the stairs. Spyders heart skipped maybe it was Kisame! But it wasn't. It was a man? In a orange mask with one eye hole dressed in black with unruly hair. As he reached the last step he turned and saw her. He ran up to her in full force and hugged her hard. Both of them almost over fell from the impact. She caught her balance and stood back up to see and feel the guys head on her well, chest.

"Hi pretty lady! Tobi wants you to be Tobi's new friend! Tobi loves you!" He shouted happily!

Spyder was amazed by his strength. She pushed him off of her chest and looked at him.

"Wow you sure are a strong one aren't you?" Spyder smiled sweetly. "Sure I'll be your friend little guy."

Tobi was so excited he did a cute happy dance. Like Stuart off of Mad TV. (look on you tube) But Tobi made it look adorable and he clapped his hands.

"Tobi wants to show you all his Little Ninja People toys! Tobi has a new airplane! Pein bought it for Tobi because Tobi is a good boy and because Pein broke my ninja mini van! He stepped on it and fell down the stairs! He was so mad that he threw the ninja van at the wall but it hit Zetsu instead! And Zetsu ate it! So now Tobi has an airplane!" Tobi explained jumping up and down.

"AAwwww your so cute Tobi! Of course I would like see your airplane." Spyder looked up at the guy.

"Tobi will be right back stay there lady!" He took off to go find his toys.

"Wow he sure is a big boy! How old is he?" Spyder asked Kakuzu

"28, He's just brain damaged and retarded. You know and .."

"Specially abled?"

"No, stupid." Kakuzu looked back to the TV.

"Oh. But he's so cute anyways. You must be some pretty patient and understanding men to be looking after a special little guy like him. He must be a real handful!"

Deidara ginned that strange grin once more."You got that right,un?"

"So can someone please go get Kisame? And what is it going to take for you to quit looking at me like that?"

"No and Nothing,un?"

"Whatever."

"So your the women who is going on a date with Kisame"

Spyder turned and looked at the person at the door. It was a man who was half plant and half black and white. She looked stunned and her mouth opened but no response came out.

"She looks like a whore!" Black side.

"Shut up! She's Kisame's women!"White side.

"So it looks like some pimp is missing his top hoe!" Black side.

"At least wait until she leaves will you?" White side.

"Would if her pimp breaks down the front door just to get her back!" Black side.

"Shut up! My name is Zetsu. You are Kisame's d.." White side.

"Whore!" Black side.

Spyder mouth just stayed open."Uh,huh."

Tobi came running back downstairs with his new Little Ninja People airplane set. It snapped her out of her trance like state.

"Tobi came back! See my airplane lady?!" He held it out for her to see.

Spyder turned to Zetsu "I'm not a whore or a hoe."

"I apologize for the rudeness" Zetsu bowed.

"Okay fair enough, is Kisame actually here?" Spyder crossed her arms

"Yes, un?"

"Why won't anyone go get him?"

"He's fucking busy. Geez if he wasn't busy he'd be fucking down here you deceitful bitch!" Hidan was still grumbling.

Tobi was showing her the plane "See lady this is where all the ninja people sit! And this is where the Ninja Pilot Hokage sits when she has to fly the plane!"

So far none of the guys went or even tried to go tell Kisame his date was here! So Spyder thought of an idea that had to work if she wanted Kisame to know she was here. And the one she had was going to work! She leaned over to Tobi.

"Wow that's so cool Tobi! Can she fly the plane to far places?"

Tobi nodded.

"Can she go all the way up stairs?"

Tobi nodded

"Can she fly all the way to Kisame's room to tell him there's a lady to see him?"

"Ninja Pilot Hokage said yes! Tobi's plane can go to Kisame! Just wait here lady!" Tobi took off upstairs again.

Spyder just stood there and waited for Tobi to come back. Then she noticed that Zetsu the plant man was coming slowly closer to her. His eyes wide and he was licking his lips in a very perverted way. When he was 4 feet away he smiled at her.

"You look delicious enough to eat!"

Spyder was nervous now "Uh, thanks?"

Zetsu continued to move closer to her, Spyder backed away. Zetsu's breath became faster and harder, Spyders eyes went wide.

"Uh, a little help please! someone!"

Kakuzu looked up at Zetsu "Get away from her. She's Kisame's date not your supper! Do you want Kisame to trim the hedges again?!"

Zetsu immediately backed away, a bit.

Deidara smiled "You can come sit by me if you want, un?"

"No that's alright. Thanks anyways." She moved close behind the stitched man. He was the biggest guy in the room. "So do you think Tobi will come back?"

"Maybe. Who the fuck knows? He has the attention span of a fucking peanut!" Hidan looked over at her.

"Well can I go get Kisame then?"

"Hell no! You don't want to know what the fuck will happen to you if you disturb him. Believe me it won't be pretty!"

"Well he doesn't know I'm here yet!"

Deidara smirked "He'll be down soon, un?"

"You said that 10 minutes ago!

"What the fucks your hurry? You have all night to do what you fucking want to do with him! You know what I mean you just want to f..."

"Hidan shut your Jashinist pie hole!"

Kisame came down the stairs followed by Tobi who was now carrying a school bus.

"Why didn't anyone come get me sooner? You knew she was here to see me!" Kisame glared at all the guys.

Deidara looked at Kisame "Because you were probably going through your secret stash of condoms, un?"

Kisame rubbed the back of his head smiling nervously.

"Look lady all the ninja are going to the academy!" Tobi showed her the bus.

"Cool! So are you on that bus too going to the academy?" Spyder asked enthusiastically.

"No you stupid lady! Tobi's too big!"

"Yah, yah your right." she was a bit thrown back by his comment. "So are these guys your family or roommates or whatever? Oh by the way you look hot!"

Kisame smiled at her "Oh their just my roommates and co workers and stuff."

"That's cool." She smiled up at him and took his large hand in hers. He turned to the guys to introduce them all.

"The blond she/male over there is Deidara"

"Hey! Watch it Jaws, un?"

"That stitched up rag doll pin cushion right here is Kakuzu."

"Shut up you big blue bastard!"

"That red eyes weasel in the lounger is Itachi"

"Your dead later."

"That freaky people eating duo personality plant over there is Zetsu."

"...Right"

"And you met Tobi already."

Tobi was jumping up and down waving his hands around. "I'm Tobi! Tobi is a good boy!"

"Yah, yah shut your pumpkin trap!" Kisame looked at her "So you ready to go then?"

"Yah sure."

They both made it to the door. Kisame being the perfect gentlemen opened it for her and Spyder walked out. But being the total guy, he gave them all the smile and nod that ment he was going to get lucky tonight.

**The First Date!**

Find out what happens on their first date! Short and sweet and right to the point don't you think?

Remember to Review!...Remember to review!...Remember to Review!...


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. I just don't!

**First Date!**

Kisame followed Spyder down the front steps. They were just about to walk down the front walk when Hidan came running out from the back of the house covered in blood. Spyder jumped and grabbed on to Kisame.

"Guess what? You forgot your fucking wallet Shamu!" He ran over to give it to Kisame.

"Wh-what happened to you?!?" Spyder asked terrified.

"What the hell do you mean by that lady?" Hidan looked at her as if she was the one with the problem not him.

"Spyder this is Hidan did you meet him before?" Kisame asked as he sighed.

"Yah we did remember you told me to fucking shut my Jashinist pie hole! You giant blue piece of fucking sushi!" Hidan crossed his arms.

"Y-yes we did meet inside. Why are you covered in blood? What happened to you? Are you okay?!?" Spyder asked worried.

"What? I was in the middle of praying to Jashin when psycho plant Zetsu came and gave me the fucking wallet to give to Goldfish here!"

"Praying?!? You pray like that?"

"Yah he's crazy let's go." Kisame took the wallet and her hand and started to walk.

"Hey don't I even get a fucking thank you for it? I did something fucking good you know!" Hidan griped.

"Yah thanks." Kisame dragged Spyder down the front walk as she was still staring at Hidan covered in his own blood. Bleeding from five separate fresh wounds.

When they were at the end of the front walk Kisame stopped and looked at Spyder.

Spyder looked at Kisame "Is he going to be alright?"

Kisame sighed "Yah he'll be fine. He does this at least twice a day. It's just part of his imaginary crazy cult thing that only he believes in."

"I'm still standing here and can still hear you! You fucktard! Jashin is not fucking imaginary! He's real! One day I'll fucking prove it to you god damn it!" Hidan stood there with his arms crossed pouting.

"Yah whatever, just don't bleed all over the floor in the house. Blood stains are hard to get out." Kisame said as he waved good bye.

"I'll fucking bleed where ever the hell I feel like it! Have fun with your whore!" Hidan turned and went to the back of the house to where he came from.

Kisame and Spyder just kept on walking.

"Sorry about him calling you a whore. That's just Hidan. He's charming in his own way." Kisame slightly smiled.

"I'm fine don't worry I don't get offended really easily. They just don't know me that's all. I bet once they get to know me better, they'll be more comfortable around me and treat me like they do each other."

"Well I pray it will never come down to that Spyder." Kisame smiled.

"Huh? Why not?"

"You really have no idea what they are really like. That was them on their best behavior."

She looked up at him confused and a bit stunned, then just turned it into a smile.

"Their not that bad Kisame. All families have their crazy moments. I just caught yours in the middle of it!" Kisame just smiled at her comment.

They walked to the restaurant and sat on the outside deck that wasn't very busy . They did get some strange looks from people but they just ignored them. They ordered their dinner and drinks and just talked while they waited for their supper.

"So what made you write the letter and ask me out?" Kisame wondered.

"Well it's kind of embarrassing really, but I liked you for a while."

"Oh, really?"

"Yah, I can go a bit over board sometimes."

"Really like how?"

"Do you really want to know?"

"Sure."

"Well I come to the beach alot when I have time off and I saw you. You really know how to surf! And well the second time I saw you I followed you home. I wanted to see where you lived. And the other times I saw you I just sat and watched at you until you went home. And I followed you home those times too. Every chance I got I went to the beach to see if you were there! You know when you were looking for your water bottle but couldn't find it? Well I took it. I took all five of them and they are at my house. I made my own shrine devoted to you! I also took your three towels and 2 pairs of your pants and 1 shirt! I sleep in it every night because it smells like you!"

Kisame was stuck between mid drink, he just stared at her in disbelief like she was nuts! Holy shit what had he gotten himself into! .Spyder caught his look of shock.

"Kisame I did it out of my love for you! I just wanted to be close to you! I really just wanted to get to know you alot better! I sent you secret presents but you never returned my love! Now you think I'm just some crazy lady stalker right?" Spyder lowered her head. "Sorry I understand if you want to leave me now, you can go I'll pay the bill."

Spyder looked down at her drink and was about ready to cry.

"Uhhh, Well thank you for ... uhhh, liking me so much?" Kisame put his hand on hers.

Spyder looked up at him giving him big puppy dog eyes. "You'll stay then?'

"Sure! You sent me presents?" Kisame asked confused.

"Yes, I sent you like, one every week. Didn't you get any of them?"

"Well, No. There are alot of people at my house, did you put my name on it?"

"Oh, Well no I was your secret admirer. You were supposed to guess who I liked."

Kisame put his hand behind his head and smiled "Uhh, you know I don't really think that's how it supposed to work."

"Really what was I supposed to do?"

"Well umm, you were supposed to send it to me, with my name on it and give me clues as to who you were."

Spyder tilted her head "Huh? Really? Man, I even messed up that part too? This is embarrassing!" Spyder covered her face with her hands. "i'm so stupid!"

"No your not."

"Yes, I can't even stalk you right! How lame is that! What ever I do never turns out right."

"Well you almost got it right. You were supposed to put my name on it and then let me guess who you are."

Spyder rested her head on her hands and looked at him. "Oh, You know this is my first time asking a guy out. I was trying to be romantic. I read it in a girly magazine! I was trying to be cute and ended up looking crazy! I just really wanted a date with you not a freaking restraining order! And to top it all off it had to be with you the guy I liked the most! You are my top choice! Ryu came in second, but you totally kick his ass any day! Ah! I'm ranting in front of you! This really isn't who I am Kisame. You have no idea how much guts it took me to give you that picture of me posed like that! You know in the end at least I tried. I guess that's what I get for trying to be someone else huh? And all I can think is, well that idea went to shit didn't it?" Spyder shook her head.

After a moment Kisame put his hand on hers."Well at least one of us is trying. But you know it's not really all that important right now. Let's just get to know each other for now and just try to be our selves."

Spyder smiled and Put her hand on Kisame's.

Dinner went alot more smoother then the first private meeting, they were more at ease with each other and Spyder became her real self not the one who was in the magazine. After dinner they decided to take a walk on the beach and got to know each other a bit more.

"Kisame you did what?!?!"

"Well you see Tobi is special. He wants to go on a date." Kisame stopped and looked at her. "Do you think anyone would really want to date him?"

"Kisame you should have told me earlier! But I am happy that you want to go on a second date with me! So what do you want should we do with him?"

"I don't know, movies maybe."

Spyder thought for a moment and then got a grin on her face. "I know who he can have a date with! Yes it's perfect! We can double date! OMG I'm so excited! We should go out on Friday to the Mid-Summer Festival! Doesn't that sound perfect?" She jumped around in excitement!

Kisame smiled" Yes it does. If I actually knew what you were talking about."

"Tobi can go out with my younger sister Mikomi! I'm so happy! She owes me big time so she have to come! I know Tobi will like her!"

"Sounds good to me."

Spyder hugged Kisame and made him lean down so she could kiss his cheek. "OMG I'm still so excited!" She grabbed his face and kissed him again this time on the lips. Kisame stood there with a half smile on his face looking a bit dazed. Spyder giggled and Kisame snapped out of it.

After walking up and back down the beach they decided to take in a movie. But when they got to the theater the only movie that had tickets left was for "Icha Icha Paradise : The Third Cumming "(lol Pervy Sage). Well if your into that kind of movie then you would enjoy it. They both seemed so tense when all the pervy stuff came on to the screen. And Pervy Sage can make blind people blush with his stories! Just ask Kakashi! But by the end of the movie Kisame had his arm around her and she was snuggled in to him her head resting on his chest.

They left the movie theater and Kisame was walking her home.

"I can't believe we just watched that! It was like so, so weird. And not in the good way either. How do people watch that sort of thing? You know what's even worse? If you had to act it out with someone you didn't like! Plus all the film crew being there watching you and taping you! Wow I think I don't ever want to be a porn actor!" Spyder looked up at Kisame.

"Well you don't have to be. What do you do anyways?"

"What do you mean like in as a job?"

"Sure."

"Well , I'm a waitress at a bar."

Kisame shrugged "Sounds good, do you enjoy what you do?"

"Yup, how about you?"

"Well you see it gets complicated..."

"Then I don't want to know. I don't care if you deal drugs or rob banks or what ever. Just don't tell me. I just want to be with you. But if I die because of you I'll be mad!"

Kisame smirked" Sure."

"Sure that's all you can say? Sure?"

"Yup."

"Huh? You know I just..."

"I won't put you into any situation where I can't protect you. That is a promise."

Spyder just stopped and looked up at him not really knowing what to say. Well yah it awkward for the both of them. Spyder looked up at the building where she had stopped.

"Well this is where I live." She bit her lip.

Kisame looked down at her." Really it looks nice."

"Yah." She leaned closer and then they kissed lightly. Then it turned into a long passionate kiss that seemed to last forever. (You go guys Yah!) They stopped and Spyder looked up at him.

"Do you want to come up and how I made the picture?" She teased.

"Sure."

"Is that your favorite word?"

"Sure."

"Fine let's go."

"Su..."

"If you say it one more time you can stay right here!"

"Alright."

Spyder giggled and grabbed his hand and lead him to the front door.

Well yes Kisame got lucky and used his condoms from his secret stash! High 5 Kisame you the man! Well I'm not going to write about it this story is rated teen. So you'll just have to use your perverted imaginations. You can start to use then right now. :)

**Morning After:**

Well we all know that there always is a morning after. And in the next chapter will tie into Tobi's Date.

Sorry for the not so funny chap. I've been so busy this weekend that I haven't had alot of time to write. The next chapter will be better promise! Thanks for reading! Please review:)


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